On A Scale Of One To Ten

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Perspective, these days, is one of my best friends.

We were introduced through Alcoholics Anonymous and although we dont always get it together when we do life is just…better.

On Tuesday morning I was PA to the Managing Director of a large manufacturing company. Then he resigned and informed me that my employment would be concluded by the end of the day. Fear! Instant Fear! Questions? What am I going to do? How will I pay my bills? how will I feed my son? How do I tell people I have lost my job? What am I going to do?

Then I remembered that 5 years ago I was an unemployable drunk. I didn’t even have the skills to be made redundant ๐Ÿ™‚

The fear in my belly started to settle down. The false pride I was feeling started to take a back seat. I looked at the stressed out man before me who I had despised and pitied in equal dollops then around the poky office I had sat alone in for the past nine months and I promptly picked up my car keys and drove to my best friends house for a cup of tea.

When I was made redundant two years ago the fear I had was massive. Within minutes I was crying hysterically to anyone that would listen but I wouldnt accept help from anyone. I was ‘lucky’ to land a similar role relatively quickly and settled back into the role where I felt ‘safe’.

This time though there were no tears, I finished my cup of tea, kissed my friend on the cheek, got in the car and phoned another alcoholic. I got to a meeting that night and the man at the table spoke about how he had all the material things he wanted in life until he was made redundant. His family lost their home and he had a breakdown. I sat and listened in awe as he described how he rebuilt himself from the inside out and is now studying at university to be a travel guide, something he loved but never thought he could make a career of.

If that isnt my higher power taking me by the hand I dont know what is.

I lay in bed thinking about the events of the day and through the perspective of AA (not the nonsense of my illness talking down at me for a change) I was able to recognise the opportunity before me and embrace my facts rather than fear my emotions. I thanked my higher power for keeping me sober and for the million little things that I am grateful for every day.

On Tuesday I lost a job I hated. On a Scale of One to Ten? Pah ๐Ÿ™‚

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